Say Fuck You and Mean It

Exclamationpoint_5At we point do we stop trying new things?

I got really big into exclamation points. Then, when I swore them off last week, the ellipses became my go to punctuation mark. But, that's okay, that sort of grammatical exuberance will be gone some day, too. Just like baggy jeans, trucker hats, wristbands and MTV. But when does it stop? How do I know when I've just clicked in, and that's it?Truckerhatsorta_1

I guess I can be happy that my moment of "clicking in" didn't come in the 80's.

Or, maybe it's another small example of how damaging it can be to be comfortable. Obviously, in regards to punctuation, who really gives a shit, right? But, for those of us still sporting plaid polos, waiting for the styles to recycle, we can lose our ability to be truly inspired, stupidly excited or inclined to freely take a step off a cliff without question.

I guess for me, my fear isn't that of age, but moreso boredom. It doesn't take more than a stroll down any grocery store aisle to see the masses of our bregudgingly content, comfortable and bored as hell brethren, out of touch and overwhelmed with the prospect of change.

80sclothes_1

Maybe it's just boredom that killed marketing. All the innovators didn't get too old, instead they just "clicked in," oblivious to the tedium slowly taking over like a pot of water brought to a boil.

Fucking shoot me if I get so content with vanilla.

Whale or Shark bait?

StevezissouHoly Shit. Your friend Hee Haw has ridden the Kohl's wave all the way to the top. Or 24th from the top, at least.  On Mack's latest Top 25 Marketing Blogs, I have officially met the criteria. And with that, I get one week of glory before my traffic falls back down to earth.

Now I feel like I should say something smart because of my newly found fame.

Ummm....

Did you know that a whale is a mammal, not a fish? Little known fact...

Community Next Needs Me, and I Need You

EddiemurphySometimes, you just have to say, it's worth a fucking shot.  So, with that, I need you, corporate America, to fund a little travel for your friend at Hee-Haw Marketing. My friend, Noah Kagan, has put together a fine showcase of blogger-ific humans to speak at the coolest conference to happen ever in the history of the planet earth. Community Next includes such speaking luminaries as Guy Kawasaki, the boys from Threadless, fellow Dallasite Jake McKee, founder of Fark Drew Curtis, and other webebrities discussing the in and outs of everything social media.

With your help, I can be there, too. I can even lead a Sunday brunch.

So, all I need is a grand. Not so bad, right? But what's in it for you?

First, you'll be the first and only ever official advertiser of Hee-Haw Marketing. That's worth at least millions of dollars already, but I won't stop there.

(2) You also get a post to use as your forum for whatever you'd like to say.
(3) The picture in the upper left will be changed to me wearing a "you-branded" t-shirt.
(4) For the next year, my business card will say on the back "Paul loves 'Your Company' the most."
(5) During the entire conference, I promise to wear your logo in three places of your choosing.
(6) Each post in the month of February will be linked to a page of your choosing.
(7) You get to give me money. And, because of that, my marketing expertise will be likely to make you money, too. See, we all win.

Ok, that's all I've thought of so far, but I'm sure the rest of you can think up some fun stuff I can give away to the sponsor. So, what else?

Oh, yeah, Community Next is on Feb. 10, so time is short...

Tune In Saturdays: M. Ward

MwardM. Ward's Post-War is a record that took me a long time to buy. It repeatedly showed up on ITunes in the little "Listeners Also Bought" section, alerting me that I would probably like the album. But, every time I listened to a 30 second clip, it just felt like something I shouldn't like. It's music that should be too popular to fit my snobbish music tastes.

But, damnit, I'm getting old now, and my wall of snobbery crumbled quick. It's just full of too many gems, like a folky Coldplay, back before Apple popped out, and Coldplay started sucking.  Essentially, M. Ward sounds like hipster Texas country from Portland. And, that's basically what it is.

MySpace, Home, and today, there's a double dip, an mp3 of To Go Home, and the video from Chinese Translation.

M. Ward - To Go Home

The Autograph Only Your Mother Could Want

Mompaulbrent_1I had lunch with my lovely mother the other day, and she made an analogy that would pretty much some up my day today. We were discussing the tendency for people to focus on what's just a couple feet in front of them instead of having the foresight to look down the road.  She compared the mentality to that of her childhood when she spent hours signing her name over and over again on a sheet of paper, pretending to be some famous actress or singer.

I guess the point is that sometimes we get so caught up in the parts of our dreams that seem manageable and easy, rather than focusing on getting better at the things that actually bring those dreams closer to reality.

Today sort of sucked, but at least I've got one smart momma that can put drudgery into an interesting context.

(and that's my nephew Brent, my mom, and me in much fatter days)

The Kohl's Employee Response: A Blog for a Blog

Kohlsblog_1My jaw just literally hit the floor when I read the last comment on the Hurricane Kohl's post:

"Sure, Kohl's made a statement response to the blog, but we as employees felt it was necessary to step in as well."

Of course, it was followed by a link to the new Dallas Kohl's Employee blog, created solely to respond to the photos posted on this blog a few days after last Christmas.  This story has been the gift that keeps on giving, and this post gives us a pretty good peek behind the Kohl's curtain.  This employee cites the following problems:

"1. Store Management
2. Lack of staff
3. Customer demographic"

Sounds pretty much as we suspected, but he/she goes on...

"Yep, those photos look pretty accurate to me! On the morning of January 18, 2007, the regional manager came into the store and boy was she pissed! I wasn't there to see her, but the instructions she left for management was to have every department, recovery and freight employee in the store in the Men's department cleaning."

It's interesting to me that it took that long for action to happen. The message on my voice mail from the VP of PR was left on Monday, January 8th, and only 10 days later did someone actually go and clean the place up.

Obviously, the employee echoed many of the comments left on the original two Kohl's posts about how this was not only a reflection on Kohl's, but also the customers trashing the store.

"Your average Kohl's customer shops the store with Wal-Mart money and expects Barney's service. They take several pieces of clothing into the dressing rooms, try them all on and then leave them there. Okay, this happens. But then you all expect us, the employees, to clean it all up because "that's your job," you say. Right? Well, as long as we're having to go behind each and every PIG that shops, we aren't able to assist you on the sales floor, aren't able to get more product onto the floor (replenishment), and we aren't able to keep the sales floor in pristine condition."

Although, having waited tables and bartended throughout college, I understand that some customers are just a pain in the ass, that doesn't excuse the store for not staffing to a high enough level to mask these problem customers. 

"Now with that said, there's the management team. Oh boy. In a nutshell, they're pretty much good for nothing. They leave everything up to the department supervisors and part-time associates while they sit in the office eating donuts and taking lunch breaks. They are so concerned with their vacation time and what they're doing over the weekend, that we're left to figure things out on our own."

Again, many commenters caught on to the issue that it's probably as much of a local management issue as anything else.  I don't think anybody will be too surprised there.

Sounds just about like we suspected all along. My only hope is that if Kohl's does find out who this employee is, they don't reprimand, but promote. It sounds like they have a better idea of what the problems are than the management or corporate leadership.  Either way, it's a clear indication of the changing world we live in.

Check out the rest of the post here.  It's full of great stuff...

Tune In Saturdays: Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin

SslybyIn a move that could be dubbed the third most pompous thing to ever happen on Weller Street in Springfield, Missouri, Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin has announced on their website that they are the third best band on Weller Street in Springfield, Missouri.  Crazy, I know.

And the review from Pitchfork:

"Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin are four Missourians who sound like every strummy bunch of white boys from the 1990s who homaged even strummier white boys from the 60s, but damn if their pop chops aren't convincing."

Damn straight. A review that makes sense. I'm in!

They've got the sleepy pop thing down to a T, so I wouldn't be surprised to see them show up on some Sub Pop-ian west coast label sometime in the near future. Think Matt Pond PA meshed with Death Cab for Cutie, but playing in my backyard.

I especially like their website design here and here. It's damn perrtty. And here's the MySpace.

Below is the most hifi video ever made (of pangea, by sslyby).