The Bachelor: Recapped.

File this under the, "Why it's a bitch to measure influence in the blogosphere" category.  At the beginning of the year, I set up a quick blogger blog for a former employee at my agency, Lincee.  She had been emailing around recaps of The Bachelor for a few seasons, but her email list was getting out of control, and she needed an easier distribution model.

So, here it is. 

But I ask you this, how do you measure its influence?

Do links measure influence?  Well, sometimes.  But Lincee only has 28 links from 22 blogs. Not bad, but probably not enough to get on too many radars.

Can comments measure influence?  Well, again, sometimes, but Seth would probably tell you that those aren't the end all be all.  But for Lincee, she has 2609 comments across only 14 posts.  Now, that's just incredible.  That also includes 3 posts by me telling her faithful readers to hold their collective horses. 

My only real point here is that metrics are relative, and are largely a product of the creators.  Number crunching is a fickle thing, and it's not too difficult for whoever doing the massaging to lead others down the primrose path.

As an aside, Lincee has become a little bit of an ABC darling.  She had a nice little story done about her on the local Houston news, plus The Bachelor host Chris can be seen regularly in the comment thread.  I would have called bullshit, until Lincee was invited on the tell all episode at the end of the season.  Smart move ABC.  Screw your enemies, keep your friends the closest!

It's the Links I Love, My Friend

So, it's been way, way too long since I've done one of these, but you know, life gets in the way from time to time.  That's not to say there has been any lack of great stuff.  We all have front row seats to watch the thought leaders of tomorrow seed their opinions, and get to help those seeds flourish, hands on.  Pretty cool, my friends.

Social Media for Dummies? - Flacker
Ryan Flack makes the point that you can't really teach Social Media.  The only way to learn is by participating.  Can't say I disagree.

Don't Forget to Smile - Hill Holiday Blog
"As a result, the AP reports the Thai people are calling this the friendliest coup ever."  It's not often you get to read a sentence like this one written by Catherine.  She reminds us of the importance of visual and non-verbal communication.  Sometimes a shrug or a smile is worth a thousand words...

Be Efficient, Not Extensive - Noah Brier
Noah tells advertising agencies to wake up a bit, and to start worrying about what our job ultimately is.  While I don't entirely agree (only mostly agree) with the premise (and neither does Noah if you read to the end), the post is still relevant.  Too many marketers forget what the actual goals are.  The goal of the CMO or CEO is probably to make sales, not just increase awareness.

Careerbuilder.com - Is Your Job Worse Than Mine? - Digital Hive
The Hive's newest blogger Lori Magno tells a little story about a bunny, a chicken, and an underpants man.  Funny stuff.

There is no fragmentation with an audience of one

Look at these two people. Twins.

By almost every metric we have.  One is the other.

But one is not the other.  They are two.

That's nothing new.  One has never been the other.

So, what did we do then?

We ignored that reality, and scaled one with the other, wasting more and more, but just taking our best guesses.  We were amateur statisticians and amateur psychologists.

Then, everyone woke up.  We realized we were not just marketers, but markets, too.  And we weren't even paying attention.

So, in this hyper-fragmented, and further splintering environment, what do we do?

We celebrate.

Hee Haw goes Beyond Madison Avenue

That's right, people.  Very exciting news in Hee Haw!

Starting, well, just about now, I'll be blogging for Beyond Madison Avenue.  It really is an honor to have the opportunity to join a blog of BMA's caliber.  I'm looking forward to getting to know Danny and the rest of the team.

But, don't worry, my friends, Hee Haw's not going anywhere.  You'll get the same potty-mouthed ranting from me that you've come to expect.

A big thanks to the brilliant Mack Collier for pulling a few strings for this lowly d-lister. Also, I would be remiss to not thank DA and CK for their kind words, as well.  Our little community is growing quickly, and I feel lucky to be able to consider them friends.

The Only Marketing Rule

Well, here it is, the only marketing rule you'll ever need. 

Rule #1: Make things that people love.

That's it.  Look at your product.  Does someone love it?  Does anyone care about it?

Look at your communications.  Does someone love them?  Does anyone actually look forward to seeing or hearing from you?

Now, ask that question about everything you do.  Every interaction, conversation, and experience.  Are you making things that people love?  If you're not, it's time to hang up your boots.

It sounds so simple and obvious, it's just a shame not enough of us simply ask.

photo from bratan.

The Product is the Only Salesman.

What if we woke up tomorrow morning and all advertising was banned?  All of it.  The billboards, radio, television, the back of napkins, sides of buses, everything.  The only thing left to sell the product is the product itself.  Would we be better off?

If we all lost our jobs tomorrow, the good and the bad alike, all gone.  No more shitty car dealership spots or questionable political attack ads, but also no more Apple, or Nike, or the like.

Of course, we're too deep in it now to ever go back, but if we could, would we want to?  Would you want to?

photo from Thomas Hawk.

Blogger Baseball Cards

Russell Davies just wrote this brilliant, poetic post, mostly an amalgamation of other presentations he's done in the past.  It's a must read...

And it got me thinking what separates the good from the great in our business.  In the end, the great have managed to avoid, as much as possible, having the humanity ripped away from their work.

Advertising, and marketing in general, is about capturing the imagination, finding those little nuggets in people lives that relate to the brands we represent.  We are not simply selling products, but providing customers with some of the tools they use to help identify themselves. 

But, too often, managers do their best to distill the process down to a series of 1's and 0's, attempting to plug numerical holes, rather than bravely forging and nurturing new relationships.  Marketing without humanity is no different than some two-bit used car salesman, painfully and conspicuously unconcerned with anything but the sale.

The great ones realize the business we work in is chaotic and emotional, and should be treated as such, from creation to completion.  It usually doesn't make easy sense, and there is no formula or mathematical equation that will offer any lasting solution. Only an understanding that, in the end, it's about improving and enriching lives, not taking advantage of them, that will lead us to where we want to be.

And, as a side note, I actually said, "this is by Russell Davies, one of my favorite planners" to someone tonight.  Maybe it's about time we come out with blogger baseball cards or something...

Why Advocate For the Devil, When There Are So Many Good Things to Advocate For?

Hey, sorry, man, I'm just playing the devil's advocate...

Ever heard that?  Of course you have.  Devil's advocates are everywhere.

You know why?

Because it's easy to say no.  It doesn't take much thought, and it sure doesn't take much work.  The devil's advocate is the person that kills action for the sake of killing action.  He takes that stance because he is too lazy to find solutions, too stupid to come up with his own ideas, or too selfish to share the glory.

It takes courage to say yes.  It's takes perseverance to make a good idea good in reality.

A true leader sends the devil's advocates out of the room, and lets the collaborators, the thinkers, the dreamers, the magicians and composers turn their wildest imaginations loose to create something beautiful, powerful and original.

That's not to say we need sycophantic yes men.  But, champions know that any idiot can say no. It takes real guts to embrace an idea and make sure it grows.

Heather: Celebrity Hair Doctor or Lawyer Crop Scientist to the Stars?

A twenty minute history of hair styles by two former sorority girls. That's how my flight started today.

No, I wasn't part of the conversation, but I just left my IPod off while the engines revved up, and we took off, just because I was so amused by how ridiculous the conversation was.

Ok, enough of that, I thought, and I went on to a little Across the Sound catch-up.  Forty-five minutes later, and the girls had People magazine out and were giggling like crazy. So, naturally I removed the ear buds to have another peak into this meeting of the minds.  Ahh, of course, a Paris Hilton discussion.  Then Madonna, then Anna Nicole Smith (who apparently is VERY smart...Just look how much money she has, How could she not be?...duh!), and, of course, the lead singer of the Dixie Chicks, who has lost favor because of her leftist know-it-all attitude.  GDubya would be very proud. 

And, back to the IPod. 

But, I couldn't help it.  I needed to hear more.  And I can't tell you how pleased I was with the next batch of insights into, you guessed it, celerity hair!

So, at this point, from a marketers' perspective, my recommendation would be to team up with Star magazine and Sex in the City, throw an American flag on the lapel, and you'll have won them over, no matter what product you happen to be selling.

I'm such an asshole.

How the hell do I know anything about these women?  Maybe they're both doctors, lawyers or scientists who just go for weekend girlie trips where they don't allow themselves to talk about anything but topics that use as little brain power as possible?

The point is, we can't rely on snapshots, fragments of the consumer's lives, and expect to paint a clear picture of the whole.  Consumers take on different roles depending on what situations they are in, who they're talking to, how the feel, what clothes they're wearing, what they did the night before, whatever.  We all wear different hats, and too often traditional advertising assumes the same hat, for the same person, at anytime.

And the last time I lost the ear buds, the discussion had turned to major agricultural crops in the State of Texas in the 1800's.  Who the fuck could have seen that coming? Not me, that's for sure.

Along the same lines, Eric Kintz has a great post about Dissociative Identity Marketing, although, he's referring more to digital personas. It's a good read, and probably makes a little more sense than my ramblings.

Eight dollar beers? Fuck you! I'll take two, please.

Last night, I went to the Flaming Lips and Matisyahu show at the Nokia Theatre in Dallas.  It's been a long, long time since I've been to a show like that, and going made me remember why.  It's music that I love (well, not Matisyahu, he sucks) but stripped of all its intimacy and emotion.  It's more like going to some Sunday morning TV mega-church rather than a rock show.

But that's rock corporate-ified. It's safe, air-conditioned and smoke-free, three things that don't seem to match when I want, more than anything else, authenticity.  The inauthentic may make MTV, but they rarely last. 

But, that's all beside the point.  The point?  Eight fucking dollars for a damn beer!  After paying 40 bucks for the ticket, they expect that much money from mostly 20-something year-olds, who, predominately aren't making enough money to not care?

And they do it because they can.  They price gouge for the same reason movie theaters do. The consumer, after walking through the door, has left their options at the door.  They pay the outrageous mark-up, have nothing or cheat and run the risk of getting kicked out.

But isn't that what we, as an industry, do for the most part?  Don't we, when faced with the option to build stronger relationships, tend to take advantage, just for some short-term gain?

My eight dollar bud light is no different than spam direct mail overflowing my inbox, or the telemarketer interrupting, or another billboard cluttering the landscape, the RIAA suing kids (who happen to be there customers) for ripping CD's, or any other tactic based on lining pockets rather than what's best for the customers, or at least some sort of reasonable balance between the two.

Too much of the advertising industry has become a pack of con-artists, like the movie theaters or the music industry, charging eight bucks for a beer or a pretzel, because that's what they think they can get, not because it's right or reasonable.

How about we take notice of how well that strategy's working out for them, and realize that we can do better.  Our customer's gain will ultimately lead to our own, so let's try acting with a little responsibility, and fight those who do their best to ruin what's left of our credibility.

As, a side note, after the big show, we went to a little one, featuring a band wearing speedos and kickin' fake German accents.  The Pabst was a dollar, the club was shitty, and we felt completely at home.  I'll take that over air-conditioning, curfews and asshole security any day.